Like most women in the first trimester of pregnancy, I’ve been fatigued. I’ve been out and out exhausted, and no matter how much I’ve slept, it doesn’t seem to help. I’m hoping for a change in a few weeks, like the doctor said. But where does that put me now?

I have much to do this week. Super busy week. Story due Tuesday. Lesson plans need to be worked on. There are several authors I have to still read for Lit class, and I’m working with a friend on a new project to teach creative writing in an alternative high school. Plus, this is Get Lit! Week. I missed Rita Dove and Robert Bly tonight. But I’m all signed up to see David Sedaris (Yay!) and Salman Rushdie (Woot!). Crazy insane.

I did get some exercise in today. We went for a walk around the neighborhood. Two walks actually with a slight break in between to rehydrate and get warm. The wind made it quite a bit colder than it seemed at first and a thicker jacket was required for the second leg of the journey. All in all we were out for about 50-60 minutes walking.

All of that said, I’m still struggling with my patterns. Patterns of procrastination. Patterns of not using time wisely. The pregnancy has really highlighted it. I sort of have this reason, this fatigue, but even that doesn’t seem good enough. I keep thinking about the healer my friend is seeing, a man who is different than a counselor, looks at things differently. I probably won’t contact him or do anything about my problem, knowing me and if I am being honest about it. But a part of me wants to, the same part of me that wishes I wouldn’t fear the unknown quite so much.